Student Stories: Becoming a parent and balancing study

Posted By Emma Lipson | Tags: admissions, career change, achievement, student parents, training to be an osteopath | Comments (7)

Emma Lipson A lot changes in five years. Not only am I months away from qualifying as an osteopath, I have also jacked in my job, moved house three times, got married and had a baby. When I embarked on this journey whilst working nine-to-five, my friends thought I was crazy. When I got pregnant in the second year of my studies, lots of people (including myself!) thought I might jack the course in. When I was awarded the prize for the best in my year for two consecutive years following my pregnancy, I knew that I had chosen the right career and was dedicated to making it happen.

The catalyst for my career change was falling off my bike on the way to work one day. To cut a long story short, I spent that morning in A&E with a succession of different healthcare professionals who were all a similar age to me. High on opioids, I pondered that I (like them) could be spending my day in a very different way than working behind a desk. The following week I spent at home with a black eye, feeling sorry for myself, but also excited about the prospect of my life taking on a new direction. I considered different types of therapy, but settled on osteopathy: it was hands on, one-to-one, holistic, I could work anywhere, do flexible hours, be my own boss and work with a whole variety of people and conditions.

When I started the BSO mixed mode course, I was working as The Guardian newspaper’s Sustainability Manager. I was lucky to have a flexible 4-day week which enabled me to spend a day studying. Apart from the challenge of juggling work and studying, I also knew that having a baby was something I would want to consider over the next few years, and I struggled with lots of questions before finally signing up for the course: could I take a year out? How would I manage if I got pregnant? Should I wait until I finish the course? In the end, my decision was helped by some good advice from one of my friends who already had a child. She said, “start the course now, because it will be so much harder to start anything once you have a baby”. Looking back, she was absolutely right.

Its not easy balancing life, study and family, but it is possible and can be very fulfilling. The most difficult part for me was going into full-time study in my 4th year. Not only was I starting my clinical practice (taking your first patients is pretty nerve-wracking!), but I was also having to sort out childcare for my 15 month old daughter.

In the end, she spends 2-3 days per week in nursery, with the rest of the time split between me, her grandma and my husband who works condensed hours. It sometimes feels like a military operation, organising who does the nursery runs and where she’s supposed to be when, but so far things are working out. I am incredibly lucky to have so much support from my family, but there are other parents on my course, including at least one single parent, who amazingly seem to manage without this level of support. The BSO have also been helpful and allowed me to juggle my timetable, so I can have a day off each week to spend with my daughter. Sometimes I have to miss lectures, but generally colleagues record these for me so I can keep up to speed.

I love being a student-mum. Its hard work but creates a really good balance of keeping your mind active, and being a kid again yourself. There’s nothing quite like coming home from a lecture on the neurology of pain mechanisms, to find a giggling small person who just wants to play!

I’ve got 5 months left before I graduate. When I finish, I am hoping to get work in a varied group practice where I can continue broadening my experience and learning from other osteopaths. I would also like to pursue further study interests like cranial and paediatric osteopathy, but I might give myself a few months off first!

Emma Lipson, Final Year Student.

Comments (7)

Damien Dufourd:
Jan 31, 2012 at 10:31 PM

Dear Emma,
I became a father of lovely twin boys last year, during what was my first year at the BSO on the access course. You're so right, it does sometimes feel like a military operation on tight schedules... My partner is an Occupational Therapist in a forensic unit, she's gone back to work on compressed hours while i look after the boys for the first half of the week.
Now on the first year of the Mixed mode, i am also working part-time and obviously putting the studying hours in too. Life has never been so busy, but never been so good either !
Best of luck
x
Damien

Reply
Rich:
Feb 01, 2012 at 12:31 PM

Impressive dedication!!

Reply
Victoria Diamond:
Feb 01, 2012 at 12:56 PM

Very reflective of my own experience in having to create a balance between family and study which, in my case requires a day organised with almost military precision and forward planning with everything from trips to supermarkets and cooking of dinners timetabled around hours in the library and making time to watch and cheer on my 5 year old when he plays football, rugby or whatever it might be after school. As a result though, my life is full and rewarding and so is my little boy's. Without grandparents around to take up the slack now and again I have built a wonderfully reliable network of local childminders and mums always willing to step in when I have to hit the books particularly around exam times; as such my son knows many people in this area and feels very much part of the local community. Wouldn't swap this for anything else.

Reply
Mandy:
Feb 01, 2012 at 01:23 PM

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm a year 2 mixed moder with three children and I'm already starting to panic about how it will work with me being full time. Knowing that the BSO can be flexible during the final 2 year period really helps. Like you, I love the course and love being a student again so giving up isn't an option I want to consider. When I finally make it to year 5, I'll be studying for my final CCA's at the same time my oldest son sits his GCSE's.....still not sure whether that's a good thing or not??

Good luck with your finals!!

Reply
Norma-Jean:
Feb 01, 2012 at 08:43 PM

Thanks for sharing this information. I am currently on the Access course, I have three beautiful children all under 8. My middle child at age three had open heart surgery, three weeks later I began the Access course. You could say I hit the ground running. I thought I must be crazy! I know my family thought I was but they gave me so much support. Juggling being a student, a mother as well as working part-time is really demanding and exhausting! I have enjoyed the challenge. The encouragement and support of family, the BSO and stories like yours and the many others shared on this blog only serve to prove that I am in the right place.

Good luck with your finals and all the best for a bright and successful future as an Osteopath!

Reply
Frank Vincent:
Feb 01, 2012 at 10:14 PM

Hi Emma. The juggling and the joy: I recognise them both. I entered the BSO as the most mature, (ok, oldest) student in the school at that time by quite a bit and my son was then three. His mum worked in the West End theatre and then on a world tour. So the joy of being dad was often tinged with guilt and frustration as the 'flying plates' seemed like they might simply fall and the performance would be over. Still recall that most of my colleagues could go to the library or whatever, get a couple of hours study and still be in the bar by 8.30. Quite a number of them were still living at home so dinner, the washing and the ironing and all the back-up bases covered. And yet, for all that, I had a ball. The BSO is a great school for enabling dedicated students (of all ages and personal circumstances) to strive, thrive and achieve their desired goals. Well done you in all that you have achieved so far. Yes, the work-load is hugely challenging but seems that you, too, are having a ball as I did. Congratulations on your achievements and look forward to seeing you at the graduation ceremony in just a few months time. Frank

Reply
Emma Lipson:
Feb 06, 2012 at 08:51 PM

Belated thanks for all the comments! For anyone that's interested, I've just set up an informal google-group to connect student-parents or want-to-be-parents who are currently studying or considering applying to the BSO. Hopefully it will provide a way to share experiences and advice between people and year groups. Before I had my daughter (at the end of 2nd year mixed mode) and in subsequent years, I found it really useful to talk to other students about how they dealt with certain situations/ challenges around managing family/study. You can join the group at: http://groups.google.com/group/bsofamily

Reply